My uncle, Joe Bill (his real name was Billy Joe but he did everything backwards), had a girlfriend, Loretta. He promised her that when he died she’d get his wad that he kept in his safe deposit box.

Well, being a mercenary woman, Loretta was determined to get that wad. Joe Bill promised her his wad when he was very sick. He wanted to keep her on the hook. Joe Bill needed someone to help take care of him.

Now, you should know that everyone thought Joe Bill was rich. Well, all of his friends thought it. No one with an IQ over 50 thought it. But, Joe Bill owned a trailer park, had about 50 fighting cocks, and property. He wasn’t poor.

You wouldn’t know it to look at him. He wore dirty old clothes. Tennis shoes with the tops cut out. The lining of a coat but not the coat. He even got his false teeth out of a dumpster.

Anyway, back to the story.

Joe Bill was dying. He fell into a coma. Loretta arrived at the hospital and threw herself onto Joe Bill. Right there in his hospital bed. In front of everyone!

The nurses had to pull her off. They banned her from the hospital. Who gets banned from a hospital? Loretta. That’s who!

After the funeral (that’s a story for another day), Loretta came to Joe Bill’s stepdaughter, Jane. She wanted her money. She wanted that wad.

Jane looked at several banks before locating the safe deposit box that had a wad in it. There she found a tin foil ball. (Joe Bill’s favorite money storage method.)

Jane gave the wad to Loretta. Loretta immediately started unwrapping the tin foil.

She unwrapped.

And unwrapped.

And unwrapped.

In the middle of the wad was a slip of paper.

It had one word on it.

“Sucker!”